prayer

The Trap of Little Sins

I have a little print-paper icon of St. Moses of Ethiopia that I use as a bookmark.  It is currently in use as I read My Life in Christ by St. John of Kronstadt as part of my bedroom prayer rule.  On the icon are these words from the African monastic,

Even in little sins, let us force ourselves and not become lazy for truly we have forgiveness of sins

From the Russian priest, I found these words on page 58,

Most men not only bear Satan’s burden willingly in their hearts, but they become so accustomed to it that they often do not feel it, and even imperceptibly increase it

moses and kronstadt

It is not hard for us to wake up and repent of our “big” sins.  We are quick to be offended, saddened, or feel some other emotion when an obvious act of immorality has been committed.  If our vision along our spiritual journey goes no further than what can readily be seen, then Satan has blinded us.  As long as we aren’t observant that we don’t fall for the “minor” temptations and make excuses for us committing them, the evil one is allowing us to rot from the inside.  He is often waiting for the rot to set in so deeply that when faced with a major temptation, we will fall quite easily and not realize how we could do such a thing.

Oh, it is a little thing for a man to “check out” a shapely woman every now and then and consider it harmless.  Yet, our Lord taught us better;

But, I say to you, if a man looks upon a woman to lust for her, he has already committed adultery with her in his heart.  (Matthew 5:28)

In many cases of child molestation and rape it is not unusual for law enforcement to find the perpetrator had a pornography habit.  Affairs and fornication begin with the eyes and the mind long before the sexual organs are involved.  And rather than confront a son’s (or daughter’s, I suppose) lengthy times in the restroom or alone online, even Christian parents resign themselves to the phrase, “boys will be boys.”  The perpetual laziness in not being watchful against and embracing lust is the cause of men and women failing at relationships as we don’t know how to relate to one another as beings who pursue purity of heart.  Even as we pursue our “soul mates,” lust stains our souls so that we wouldn’t know the “right one” unless an archangel actually pointed him (or her) out.  And even if we do find a good spouse, those little sins left unchecked and well fed are able to rot the best of marriages.

Murder can begin with unchecked anger, theft with envy, hate with pride; every “big” sin begins with a “little” sin, or a series of “little” sins.  Care must be taken that we search them out within ourselves in times of contemplation and prayer.  We who seek God cannot afford to accept the worldly excuses for them.  They must not be tolerated in ourselves.  But, we must repent of them no matter how minor they may seem.

 

 

 

The Home: The Abandoned Church

 

The churches of Asia salute you. Aquila and Priscilla salute you much in the Lord, with the church that is in their house.  I Corinthians 16:19

Father Jerome Sanderson quoted this text and I just couldn’t help but to think about how silly a lot of us Christians are when we complain about how ungodly our society has become.  Aquila and Priscilla had a church in their house.  The very dwelling place of this couple was dedicated to the worship of God whether it was the community of believers, or just themselves.  As the head of the household, Paul and other early Christian writers felt that the man of the house should also be the priest of his house and the wife to be the God-fearing helper to this domestic priesthood.  The children were to be brought up in the fear of the Lord and guest were to be exposed to the Gospel of Jesus Christ.  When the persecutions of the Church ended, it was suggested by the early fathers that each home have, at least, a corner of their homes as a dedicated worship area.  It was to face eastward with a couple of icons, the Scriptures and other spiritual writings, and, perhaps, a lamp.  Some icon corners were very elaborate, others simple.  But, the purpose was the same; to bring the same spirit of worship seen in the church building on Sunday morning into the home for the rest of the week.  The husband was qualified to lead family prayers and the wife with him.  The children were to worship with tier parents.  In the case of no husband being around, the matriarch of the family would then  lead, as in the case of Timothy.  If the man was unmarried, he was still to conduct his own prayers with himself, or any believer that came to visit him.  Either way, the Christian home was a church in lock-step with the designated church where believers from all homes came together.

Fr. Jerome Sanderson

Fr. Jerome Sanderson

Over the years, too many Christians have not heard of this model.  Iconoclasm destroyed the use of holy images as such people ignorantly mistook them for idols.  Doctrines such as sola scriptura (scripture alone) and soul competency taught that individual believers could know what the Bible means for themselves without correction from anyone else, even the church.  Clergy were frequently put on a high pedestal due to their education.  Thus, laymen left the idea of being a priest to the scholars.  Chauvinism  gave men an arrogance above their wives that poisoned their ability to give themselves up for their wives as Christ did for the church.  Without such sacrificial love, they became poor priest when they did try to assume that role in their homes.  Combine these toxins with the various means of entertainment that have developed over time and the pursuits of the flesh that have been with us since the days of Adam and Eve; and we can see that the very church that Paul praised his friends for having is absent for too many people today.

From Darkness To Light (St. Moses the Black)

Sure, prayer in schools is a great idea.  But, if there is no church in the private homes, how can we hold the teachers and administrators responsible for making one in the public square?  God made husband and wife, male and female; not Assistant principal and Forth Grade Social Studies Teacher.  Yes, it would be nice if everyone came to church on Sunday.  But, if they don’t worship in the house they already live in, why would they come to a house that is only open on Sundays and Wednesdays?  And if they did come to the briefly opened church building without making their own homes houses of worship, is their worship that stable or genuine?  We can bemoan how America has strayed away from its Christian roots all day long.  But, without men and women taking their lay priestly roles seriously and making their homes a house of worship, we have no one to blame for this failure but ourselves.

This is how I got started

This is how I got started

I would challenge anyone to establish a prayer corner in their homes and make at least 15 minutes in the morning and night a time for prayer and scripture.  For my non-Orthodox friends, have a cross and Bible to start with.  Every Orthodox Christian should have a traditional style (Eastern or Oriental) icon of Christ, the Theotokos, and a favorite saint along with the scriptures and a prayer book.  I personally love the Trisagion Prayers.  But, use the opening prayers of your jurisdiction or what your priest recommends.  Read the scriptures of the day aloud.  Pray for those who are on your mind and offer your own words to God.  End with an appropriate closing prayer.  Push to add more time to your home worship.  But, don’t over-do it.  That would be a source of self-righteousness.  You will eventually become weary and quit, making you as bad as you were before, if not worse.  Again, talk to your priest or confessor about your rule of prayer.

No, this is not going to give you “supernatural breakthroughs of Gods ever increasing overflows for a shift to a next level anointing.”  But, with time and consistency, you may,

  • drop a few bad habits
  • understand scripture better
  • be more kind and patient

And some other good stuff that every Christian should strive for.  If St. Seraphim of Sarov is right, your light may rub off on someone else:

Obtain a spirit within yourself and a thousand souls will be saved.

Songs That Moved Me: Four Cornered Room

“Go to your cell.  Your cell will teach you everything.” — St. Moses the (Black) Ethiopian

Of course, St. Moses and the other great monastics of Orthodoxy could not have had an album from War on their turn tables back in the day.  In fact, they couldn’t have had turn tables.  But, if they did, I imagine any monk or nun would have heard this song and felt it fitting in to their spiritual journey.  I forgot that I had a copy of “The World Is A Ghetto” cassette.  The whole thing is a masterpiece of 1970’s funk.  But, that fourth track, “Four Cornered Room,” strikes me as one of the best songs to prepare for daily prayers.  I would dare say it is better than most contemporary Gospel music.

First of all, War was a band that never called to make a living from the Gospel.  These were just some dudes from L.A. making songs about “Low Rider” cars, old westerns (“Cisco Kid”), and other stuff to bob your head to.  Chances are, most of us aren’t reading our Bibles and singing hymns 24/7.  We work regular jobs either as highly educated and trained professionals, something unskilled and minimum wage, or something somewhere in between.  And even for full-time pastors and church staff, chances are that your daily duties keep you from any sort of introspective time in reflective self-examination.  So, “Four Cornered Room” is not a directive from a pulpit nor a praise break by an on stage performer.  It is a hint of what needs to be done by someone as regular as you and I.  While ministers and musicians called by God do a service to mankind, there are moments when our souls are better fed by those who offer real words as they walk beside us than from occupants of honorable seats.

It was Jesus Himself that taught us the value of the “Four Cornered Room.”  While War wasn’t giving an intentional Biblical lesson, they almost parallel the Gospel:

Thinking, talking; we’ve worked out our problems – Look like we should have better days in front – Just because we took our time to think and talk – For a much better understanding  (War, “Four Cornered Room”)

and

But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you (Matthew 6:6)

Also, consider how many of our slave ancestors took the time to be one on one with God and themselves.  How else could we have heard such spiritual lyrics as:

Nobody knows the trouble I see – Nobody knows but Jesus – Nobody knows the trouble I see – Glory Hallelujah.

There is hope that comes from the Four  Cornered Room that no matter what our struggles and challenges are, if we would just get to that one place where we can be to ourselves, Someone will meet us and help us come to a better time and place.

 

Lessons From Lent: The Temptations

There really isn’t any point in fasting, praying, nor almsgiving during Great Lent and Holy Week if you are not trying to grow spiritually from the experience.  During this time of renewal, I ran across one of the spurious letters of St. Ignatius to the Philippians that made me take a second look at the tempting of Christ in the desert (Matthew 4).  Satan attempts to persuade Jesus into three frames of mind that would lead him into sin.

St. Ignatius of Antioch

St. Ignatius of Antioch

First, is ignorance of the word of God.  In the previous chapter, our Lord was baptized, had the Holy Spirit descend on Him, and had been announced by the Heavenly Father as the Son.  Jesus needed no other proof as to who He was.  Thus, Satan’s challenge (if you are the Son of God) fell on deaf ears as our Lord chose not to be ignorant, but to pay attention to the word of God rather than obey the legitimate cravings of his flesh.

The second dangerous frame of mind is a vainglorious relationship with God.  Here, Satan was careful to use scriptures to give Jesus a sense of assurance of safety if He would cast himself down from the pinnacle of the temple.  But, rather than fall for the seemingly legitimate bait of scripture, our Lord stood on the more humble command not to put God to the test.

The final mentality that Satan used to tempt Christ was direct rebellion against God for the sake of the world.  No doubt, the splendors of the ancient world’s kingdoms were great.  Yet, Jesus knew there was a much greater and everlasting kingdom that was not built by human conquest and construction.  Our Lord felt that this place was so great that He commanded the devil to leave him for even offering up such a choice.

Christ overcoming Satan

Considering my own struggles and temptations, I can see where every sin is linked to one of these three frames of mind.  For the sake of satisfying legitimate cravings we ignore the truth God indisputably revealed to us.  We say and act as we wish because we have adjusted the scriptures to fit our bidding rather than to submit to what the scriptures say believing we have God’s approval.  For the sake of what we can gain in the world, we gladly serve the devil himself in direct defiance that God has something greater for us if we are faithful and patient.

Pascha (Easter) is a few days away.  I anticipate enjoying every form of meat and dairy product that my palate chooses and wallet can afford.  But, I pray that I will spend times meditating on these lessons from my first Lenten Fast as an Orthodox Christian.  Rely on the word of God and forsake the flesh.  Walk with God in humility and not vainglory.  Serve God only and reject this world as it calls us to serve Satan.

A Blessed Holy Week and Pascha to all.

 

Weekly Reflections: Go Home For Your Anointed Birthing and Supernatural Shift to the Next Level

5 “And when you pray, you shall not be like the hypocrites. For they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the corners of the streets, that they may be seen by men. Assuredly, I say to you, they have their reward. 6 But you, when you pray, go into your room, and when you have shut your door, pray to your Father who is in the secret place; and your Father who sees in secret will reward you openly.  (Matthew 6:5-6)

No, this is not an excuse for anyone to attend “Mt. Pillow Temple of Rest Worship Center” (I borrowed this from my friend and frat brother Dr. Christopher Wyckoff) or “Bedside Baptist Church” Sunday morning.  Except for illness, inclement weather, lack of transportation, work schedule, or some other legitimate reason; I believe every Christian should attend worship somewhere on the Lord’s Day!   If you had issues with a church that didn’t do right by you, pick another church.  If you are away from home, chances are there is some church of your denomination or faith within driving distance.  If you belong to a faith that frowns upon going to a different church and you know your’re going to be out of town and it is absolutely not feasible to go anywhere else but where your host is going to, talk with your minister ahead of time.  But, a nonchalant attitude towards gathering with the saints together before God is inexcusable!  For the church’s first 300 years, Christians risked being thrown to the lions and having their heads chopped off for meeting in catacombs.  Christian slaves in America had to risk being discovered and beaten going to their “hush arbors.”  Ethiopian and Eastern European Christians faced prison and torture when discovered worshiping in secret when communist ruled those countries as in China as we speak .  And today, our brothers and sisters in Egypt, Syria, and other nations are coming together in churches that were bombed and gutted by fire by Muslims who have a skewed interpretation of their faith.  And you are going to sit your mentally and physically healthy behind at home because “I don’t feel like going to church;  I can read my Bible and pray at home;  the church is full of hypocrites?”  Staying away from church when you are capable of attending and calling yourself “Christian” makes you just as much of a hypocrite as the hypocrites who are in church.

At the home prayer corner

But, is going to church and religious conferences supposed to be the highlight of our faith?  Though being a devout Jew and attending regular synagogue worship, Jesus declares that the greatest and most instrumental place one is to pray and spend time with God is in his own home and room.  Worship in this place removes the element of hypocrisy as you are alone with no one to put on airs in front of.  There is no one in the pulpit in front of you nor the pews among you to impress with or pressure you into acting holy.  It is when we are one-on-one with God that we are able to wrestle with and overcome our sins.  Notice that Jesus overcame Satan and committed Himself to the crucifixion not among the multitude that he taught on a mountain top nor in a synagogue.  No, He was alone in the wilderness.  Now, if you have a personal wilderness to go to, go ahead and do that.  But, we all have a room in our homes we can go to.  So, Go home.

Go home into your room and shut the door.  The living room is where special guest are entertained.  The family room is where loved ones enjoy TV and games.  You have a cup of coffee with a neighbor in the kitchen.  Any one can see and hear you in these places.  Not everyone is allowed in your room.  And when you shut the door behind you, you have created a place where you can show and say any and everything you want to before God.  There are somethings you might not want to say and show in front of company, neighbors, or even family.  There are things about all of us that we ought to be discrete about.   It is not wise to tell everybody your business.  Nor is it wise to deceive yourself that you don’t have any issues to bring before God.  It doesn’t take a Ph.D to have that kind of wisdom.  Discretion is common sense.  And even in those traditions where confessions are made before a priest or minister, what good is it to practice the public sacrament without seeking God in private for His direct holy solution?  And even if you can speak in tongues and interpret everyone else’s, what good is it if you don’t talk to God and hear from Him for yourself by yourself?  And sure, you can feed the hungry, clothe the naked, welcome the stranger, visit the sick and imprisoned.  As Christians, we are supposed to do these things.  But, what good is it to meet the physical needs of others and ignore your spiritual needs?  You should keep doing the one without ignoring the other.  So, go home.

God rewards those who come to Him in prayer at home.  Of course Christians should come to Sunday morning worship.  It is good for believers to attend various conferences, convocations, and the like.  We ought to meet brothers and sisters from other places, exchange ideas, and hear from and be inspired by other speakers.  But, trying to sell these events as the greatest thing we can ever attend is over-reaching.  Chances are that if one church group has a conference that will “take you to the next level,” some other group will have a convocation that will “birth you to a new breakthrough.”  While churches, denominations, and fellowships of all stripes bombard the faithful with slick advertisements of “life changing” gatherings; Jesus directs us to the most significant place to meet God and promises that if we do so as He directs, we will receive far more than tote bags and wrist bands that we can show to the folks back home.  Go home to your room and closed the door.  The Father in heaven may give a few glimpses of Himself in the convention centers.  But, the Father IS in the secret place.  He who comes to Him in secret will be openly rewarded.  Attend a conference if you can.  Attend Sunday worship as you should.  But, in the words of Public Enemy, don’t believe the hype about how “The Anointed Voices of the Rem-ah Mass Choir, The Shabbach Praise Team, and Fire Baptized Agape Preached Word from First Presiding Prelate His Holiness Apostle Bishop Pookie Pook will give you an Overflowing Shondo Birthed Blessing that will Take You To The Next Level!”  Go to church.  Go to a conference.  Do good to those who are less fortunate.  Go home to your room and pray as instructed.

Weekly Reflections: The Value of Psalm 51

I no longer have the responsibility of preparing and preaching sermons.  But, I still have a habit of studying scriptures and writing out my thoughts to share with anyone who cares to listen.  I have challenged myself to read the Ante-Nicene Fathers.  For the first 300 years of the church, such writings were relied upon to instruct believers on true doctrine as the writers were of the same and one or two generations after the apostles.  Even though these books were not included in the final list of New Testament books, they do provide the foundation from which our Holy Bible was founded on.  Thus, the books of the early church fathers are very much worth reading to see how to live as a Christian.  Besides, anyone can look up and read these books for free.

Clement, the fourth bishop of Rome and a disciple of Peter

Starting from the top, the First Epistle of Clement to the Corinthians defines Christian life by being sober minded and serious about the faith.  Moderation, habitual hospitality, and being well grounded in knowledge are characteristics for all believers; not just the clergy.  Division due to emulation and envy must be rejected.  While bishops, priest, and deacons are to be held in respect, all are to be humble.  Without humility, we make ourselves more vulnerable to sin.  Clement gives examples of humility, the greatest of which is Jesus Christ Himself.  He also holds up the prophets, Job, and Moses as worthy examples with biblical text references from Genesis, Exodus, Job, and Isaiah among others*.

David is also held up in chapter 18 (the chapters are no more than a few paragraphs, so don’t be intimidated to read this book).  Keep in mind that this was the man that was after God’s own heart.  He was God’s anointed and through his line came Joseph who was the surrogate father of our Lord.  Yet, when caught in his sin, David pours himself out in one of the most heart felt cry of remorse and repentance.  The 51st (50th in the Septuagint Old Testament translation) was a common prayer among the early church, thanks in part to Clement’s epistle.  David the human ancestor of the Savior offered it.  As we are a part of the family of the Lord and seek to follow Him, certainly these words are good enough for us when we acknowledge our sinful state whether we killed a man to cover up our adultery or lusted for someone or something.

Among Orthodox Christians, this psalm is still given as part of daily and weekly prayer disciplines.  All Christians would do well to make this prayer and the humble mind frame of David, the other saints, and, above all, Jesus Christ a part of our new lives.  Talk to your pastor or priest.

The grace of the Holy Trinity be with you.

I welcome comments and questions

(*If you have access to an English translation of the Septuagint, please read it in conjunction with the OT found in most English Bibles.  There are sections where the translations are very different)

Chronicles to Conversion: Day 27 Establishing My Cell

I am using the days of the Feast of the Nativity to reclaim and restore some things in my life that I have let slide for way too long.  My gross little tank half filled with tannin stained water is a 35 gallon tank with schools of golden barbs and neon tetras.  I have my medical and other bills together and will set things up to slowly pay them off.  Tomorrow is going to be in the upper 50’s.  So I will get to my car cleaned up.  But today was a combination of the kitchen, some laundry, and my all important cell.

IMGP8407

The Modern Monastic with my patron saints John the Baptist and Cyprian of Carthage and a photo with my wife.

Monks live cells as a place of prayer and solitude.  As my wife’s condition went south, I moved to the spare bedroom.  She had used it to store some of her notebooks and other things.  I used it as well as a bit of a dumping ground.  And I have never been a neat freak in the slightest.  With me clearing out my office at the church and my wife and her aide slowly tackling getting the home office/junk room straight, I figured making my bedroom into a proper monastic cell would be a better option.

St. Moses the Ethiopian told a brother monk, “Go to thy cell and thy cell will teach thee everything.”  In the state it was in, the only thing my cell could teach me is that I am a mental and spiritual bus accident waiting to happen.  Seeing that I have been in three of them and there was damage in each, I figured I’d do something about it.  Finishing the job, I found 3 bags of clothes that are heading for a donation bin.  I haven’t decided what to do about my shortwave radio and scanner.  And if my shotgun was in the house, I would have shot the old DirecTV box for fun.

But, a couple of items in my cell have prominence.  I have an Oxford Study Bible with the Apocrypha that I have owned for about 20+ years.  I also have the New Jerusalem Bible my father gave me when I graduated from VSU in 1989.  Both of those Bibles have been with me in quiet contemplation and major wrestling matches.  The photo of my wife and I taken when we got back together in 2000 (we did separate for two years for the sake of mutual mental health).  Despite our inner demons and outer differences, we love and are very loyal to each other.  A copy of the Life Magazine photo of Archbishop Iakovos with Martin Luther King Jr during the Selma to Montgomery March in 1965.  Perhaps a foretaste of Orthodox Christianity and African-Americans coming together for dialogue and working together for the betterment of humanity.

Along with my prayers before my Matins in the living room, I am reading the Ante Nicene Fathers and taking notes.  I need to remind myself to push myself to pray Compline.  And also to spend time enjoying leisurely reading while listening to some good jazz every now and then.

Chronicle of Conversion: Day Six In Prayer

I could have written something between work and the Paraklesis yesterday evening.  I needed a good laugh and found this website of fashions from the 1970′ and posted one of those horrid leisure suits on my Facebook page.  What was once impressive and sophisticated in clothing is now the object of ridicule and scorn.  (Okay, that was a loaded sentence that I am nor even prepared to continue to expound on)

Advent Paraklesis/Parakesis prayers are probably one of the least most popular services in Orthodoxy.  Worshipers are to stand through the whole service.  It is held on Friday (start of the weekend, favorite TV shows, kid’s high school sports) night.  There is no meal or repasts after the service.  Going to a Christmas party seems far more fun, especially if there is food that fits the Nativity Fast.  After all, we have prayer books, the priest is neither serving the Eucharist nor giving a sermon.

In this time of Christmas being degenerated into the Winter Festival, I find that being in the presence of God at these prayers a welcome refreshment.  The sight of the icons and smell of incense transforms me from tacky outdoor decorations to the place of holiness.  The chants and prayers explicitly focus on the birth of our Lord and Savior without reindeer, snowmen, and the false perpetration of one of the favorite saints of the Church.  At this prayer service, the connection to Orthodox doctrine is strengthened  ( this is also a good time to recommit to the Nativity Fast that is so easily broken).

For the non-Orthodox, I invite you to come and see for yourself. Because there are relatively few worshipers, you may even have time to talk to the priest and learn about the ancient faith.  But, if you refuse, do take a portion of your week away from the Santa dominated decor and focus on your prayer life.  To the Orthodoxy, go to your icon corner and worship if you cannot make it to your church.  But, make every effort to maintain this wonderful tradition of prayer.

My First Orthodox Pilgrimage (Part 5): Wisdom From New Friends

1:00 pm – 9:30 pm/ 12 October/ Kansas City, MO

During lunch, we had round table discussion about race and the church. Sure enough, there are some Orthodox congregations who are not receptive to black converts. One of the things that has crippled the spread of the Orthodox church was the various ethnic groups kept their faith closed and did not evangelize to others of any race. Except for St. Herman and the other Russian missionaries to Alaska in the 18th century, the church made no major effort to win converts. In 1987, the Antiochians threw the doors of Orthodoxy open to all who sought the faith. But because of traditional ethnic bonds and good old American racism, there are still some Orthodox churches that keep their doors closed to African-Americas who may want to convert.

Thank God this has not been my experience. There is not one Orthodox church that I have visited that I was not welcomed. The church I attend (when I can) is in a city with a reputation for being bigoted. But, the members are from all over Hampton Roads and various ethnic backgrounds. To me, the racial divide works both ways. I think black people need to open their minds and hearts and see that the Holy Spirit is more than just clapping and shouting in church. We need to learn that Africans originally practiced liturgical worship. Even today when Ethiopians immigrate here, they don’t go to our AME, Baptist, COGIC, or any other African-American congregation. They go to any Orthodox church they can find. And if there is enough of them in a general area to have a congregation, they form a parish.

Perhaps one of the most compelling people I have met and heard is Rodney Knott. Bro. (Dortheos) Knott directs ReEngage Services, a mentoring program to encourage men to be responsible fathers and contributors to society. He has a sense of compassion and toughness that seems to be very effective. I was blessed to be in the small group discussion with him and Fr. Deacon Nathaniel. I’d love to have those two brothers come to King William and evangelize for a week. I think they could convert almost half of the men in the county to the Orthodox Church.

Again my health was not up to par, which reeked havoc on my attention span. What I did hear of Mother Katherine Weston’s talk on “Loneliness” was very interesting. I had no idea there was no such word until the 1800’s and the industrial revolution. One thing I did write down that is worth thinking about in this time of social media meanness and isolation that she said, “Real conversation can be messy.” No doubt, there can be no true community nor church unless we are willing to have compassionate dialog.

IMGP8129_edited-1 IMGP8133 IMGP8134_edited-1 IMGP8137_edited-1 IMGP8140_edited-1 IMGP8144

Actually, I was impressed with the nuns who attended the conference. These women have rejected the world’s standards of beauty of clothing, make-up, and all to live in humble simplicity. There was one younger sister, I guess mid-20’s, who could probably attract a nice young man. Yet, she has shunned human marriage for a divine, spiritual matrimony to God and the church. There is nothing like being in the presence of women monastics. They are full of wisdom and compassion.

I had been looking forward to hearing and meeting Sub Deacon Paul Abernathy.  Had he been Protestant, Paul could have started his own non-denominational church and made himself a bishop.  He could be a mega-church minister with a little time and effort.  Instead, this brother is in the Hill District of Pittsburgh “Building Community in Profound Brokenness.”  I liked what he said about not cutting ourselves away from redemptive suffering.  When we run from it, the result is fear and self hate.  When we accept it, we become one with the suffering people we serve.  I ate with him and Fr. Jerome.  I will share notes on that conversation in my final article.

Dr. Carla Thomas is a wonderful combination of brilliance and compassion.  While I am not qualified to open and run a free clinic as she did in a small town in Alabama, she does present a model for building an Orthodox community anywhere.  Meet a practical need of the people and make the prayers a part of what is done.  From her clinic, an Orthodox Church was organized.  Indeed, something similar is happening to Paul in Pittsburgh.  The goal is to bridge the faith with the needs of people.

Fr. Moses Berry uses history as a bridge.  His museum in the heart of Ozark country and traveling lectures about slavery and black communities during Jim Crow helps to break down the barriers between the races.  We tend to put up stereotypes and avoid facts.  Not Fr. Moses.  He has slave neck irons to show the pain of the brutal system and quilts that depict the fact that we are a people who (by the grace of God) constantly create something out of nothing.  I like his example.  We should talk with one another about the past in love and not accusation.

I am no night owl.  So again, I got a ride back with Mrs. Mathews and the boys.  I hope someone recorded the “Circle Wrap Up” and will post it on You Tube or Ancient Faith Radio.

On To Pentecost: The Worst Of Sinners

God, be merciful to me a sinner!

Luke 18:13

Humility is the most difficult characteristic for the Christian to maintain.  It is too easy for us to look at our salvation (either through the sacraments of Orthodoxy or as a born again Baptist) as a “Get Out Of Hell Free” card.  It is too easy to find abortion doctors, kidnapping rapist, troubled celebrities, and corrupt politicians that we compare ourselves favorably against.  With this ease of judgement (a power that belongs to God alone), complete humility is impossible for those of us outside of monastic communities.  Even monks and nuns must struggle for this goal as well.

The Pharisee and the Publican

The Pharisee and the Publican

While we may adhere to lowly words of our prayer discipline, our thoughts and words in general conversation are too much like the Pharisee.  “Thank God I am not like James Gosnell, Ariel Castro, OJ Simpson, Tea Party members, Barack Obama and his supporters, … .  I love my wife, my children, my country, my people, … .  Does not God know our words and thoughts outside of our hours of prayer?  Asking for mercy in a few appointed times without the heart, mind, and lips that seek it at all other is hypocritical.  At least the Pharisee’s hypocrisy was obvious.  We hide ours in Jesus Prayers and Gospel radio.

The Apostle Paul called himself the chief among sinners.  Sure, he could boast that he was no longer a persecutor of the Church and that he was the great missionary of Christ to the Roman world.  But, Paul understood that God alone is the judge of all mankind and that it is better to think lower of one’s self as the humble are exalted and those who exalt themselves are brought down low.  A plethora of saints from the early fathers to Seraphim Rose taught the same thing, that one should think of himself no better than our enemies.  If we honestly look at our sins as the things that separate us from communion with God, we all have reason to hang our heads down and beat our breast begging for mercy. 

Let us be careful of our thoughts and words outside of prayer.  We may be the baby-killing, teen-raping, dirty politicians with inflated egos that we are better than.  God, be merciful to me a sinner!